Great Expectations

I came across a blog that read “5 things that will destroy your marriage” and found the content quite profound. Under the title, it listed:

1.) Expectations
2.) Failing to Forgive
3.) Leftovers
4.) Leaving God Out
5.) Withheld Truth

I wanted to talk about subheading of expectations. As I’m approaching my four years with Adam, I’ve learned quite a bit and also witnessed the failed relationships of some parents, friends, coworkers, and peers. For me personally, growing up in this world where we are immersed in digital media and fashion, not only is pressure overwhelming at times, but the need to succeed and the great expectations that are held high at stake can be suffocating.

I think expectations hits at home especially to ladies of my age group. We’re at the age that we’re seeing our friends and peers get married and some are even having babies. Our biological clocks are beginning to activate and we see facebook photos of utter bliss with what size ring the guy can provide, what house we can live in, and our expecations begin to form and increase. I know for myself, I’m still relatively young, but I’m seeing friends get married and ideas of pink peonies, G & R & C as pretty pink bridesmaids, a ____ carat ring, and lovey dovey songs are popping all over my head. In fact, it’s invading my mind at times. We/I idolize the idea of what love appears to be like. my teacher friends are getting engaged and i find myself perusing wedding blog sites my friends give to me and expectations are forming. We idolize the disney weddings, the dress, the ring, the cute flowers, the breathtaking prom proposal.
our culture has built up a premonition that we women run the world and the men not only have to treat us right, but must serve us. dating is like the movie “50 first dates” where men must impress us every day or we squash them with the 5 inch heel. im not pointing fingers at any in particular, but we hear it enough. i know i’ve fallen prey to this at times. we came from the early 1900s battling for women’s rights to vote and now here we are, giving our men a laundry list of stuff they need to do to win our hearts. we enter into relationships with lofty expectations instead of learning to serve one another. scripture says we are to be equally yoked. not only should men treat us right, but we as women must treat them right too.

im definitely not immune to this. Actually, i think i fall into the temptation every day of holding expectations in not only my relationships with adam, but with those around me as well. it’s a very “me-centered” expectation.In fact, as I look back now, every time I’ve fought with Adam, it’s probably because I was holding a very high expectation instead of thinking about how to better care for him. It’s as though I were sitting on a high pedestal,  looking down at him, and rubbing it in his face that I am so much better—simply because I am female and my genes have predestined this fact. Granted, he’s not perfect, and I should have high standards because as God’s daughter, I am indeed priceless, but far too often, I try so hard to make Adam right for me that I forget to try hard to make myself right for him. Again, it’s a selfIsh approach rather than a self-LESS approach.

Imagine what relationships would be like if expectations were stripped and our worry/main goal was just to serve the other. I think it’d be a small glimpse of what God’s immeasurable love is like. Imagine what would happen if we worried less about finding the right person and instead, focused on becoming the right person.